Hello internet!

Not in the mood to do a post today, nor have I been the last few days, soz.

Here is some photo update to help give an idea of what I've been doing.

Just cuz' you're sad doesn't make you special at all! 

Trachyphonia - roughness of a voice

Personal disposition has no face, for we are always changing. 

Perception is something I'm so thankful for, even when it's bad you can still learn something from it. 

Finding where I resonate truly to myself is what I've been seeking, so getting out there & making sure I'm true to myself should help land me in that place.

A few days ago I said that I'd be trying to get a TECHNO set up around this time last week, but alas I'm still putting it together, 4th take today, I definitely need to get a board to take mixing seriously. 

Afternoon update!

My bro gifted me an S7, and I got a (new to me) bicycle! It's pretty rad, I'm happy with it.

Not sure if my fam checks these posts out but if you do, thank you so much, love you all!!

Here's me and Pucky being cute getting a quick snap for y'all. Stay up, get exercise, love your pets!

new weezer song i think?? or at least new music video

sikk!! 

Here is a bonus glitch lazily done today, I'll re-do this one at another time. 

Diablerie - magic, mystery, mischief

I've been getting most of these motivational pictures from the self-love group on FB, so there's the credit for those I forgot to give in previous posts. 

Today is a new day, 1st day of being 24 and it feels alright, great start to a day, hoping it only gets better.

Nighttime update, a bit of a rough one.

There is always room to improve, but if that's all we do I should never be down about it...

While I may never be a warlock, I'm going to try to do my kooky sh**

Etiolated - to become pale by depriving light

😵2😵2💜2💜4👶4👦4👱

Growing day by day, honored to be here with you all for 24 years, thanks for sticking around c: 

I feel like I'm glowing, but in a different type'a way.

Love is the key, death is the end, live it while you got it.

Paraphilia - arousal to atypical items

I hope no one gets me gifts, people should add to things they care about. Today is a real rough day. Tomorrow is the birthday, and I wish it were anything but. I never get these things right.

So if it wasn't obvious this (above us) is some wording from an episode I'm just coming out of. There's a haunting feeling over me quite most of the time that only comes out when I realize where I am in comparison to where OTHERS are, if I compare to my own goings-on, it helps to come out of where I thought I was headed...if that makes any sense. As I get better with managing emotions I realize how dark I really can be, I need to cut that out. 

Jk, this is shit, and all a joke, please help me. These emotions are hitting me like a storm I know I'm not going to see the end of today, just have to try to make it through it.

Kinda feeling like this loveable lame-o

Janiform - having two faces

we

are

going to

start

todays post

like this

Not sure what textbook this is out of, found it on reddit, but whoever published it: good for them.

There's a huge part of me that wants to get into music again, but something is holding me back, aside from my surroundings. Really can't wait to wrap up school, gotta keep on pushin'. 

💣

💣*19m in is the goodie stuff

Here is a good mix for you to listen to that I am not putting in place of a mix I SHOULD have recorded last weekend 😅

Here is me x2

Starting to notice that when you want to learn something foreign, it's best to have others teach to get a basis when learning something you roughly know, it's good to self evaluate, to an (almost) uncomfortable degree.

Thanks for checking 

S̵̙̜̞͓̪̟͈͉̯̹̞̋̆ͭ̄͂́̚͡u̐̏̀͆҉̷̨̢͎̤͉͔͓̲̤͔̹̱̹̗̤̯̮̺͍͝ͅb̶͈̦̙̩̘͕ͦ̈̿͊͛̒ͭ͜ͅc̷̴̫͖͈̩̜̦̠̪̗̰͑ͧ̾̂̓̊ͣ̇͟ơ̶͍̥͉̯͔̰̜̪̤͚̳̫̪ͦ̎̐̔̄̅ͤ͒̓̄̈ͦͨ̒̂ͨ̊͝͞ͅǹ̷̛̺̯̱̺̰̜̺͙̰͕͔͙̦̿ͪ͗̃̌͑̑͋͒̆͐ͬ̒ͩs͛͋͒̈́̾́ͬ̿̇͏͓̩͙̱̟̳̼̲̹̫̬̻͉ç̡̝̬̞̙͍̘̮͓̙̲͛͌ͪ̽͑͂͐ͪ͆ͮ̄ͤ̚͘͢͡ȉͬͥͬ̊̉̈́͌͗͗̽͆̚͜͏̸̯̦͕̻̹͈̤̘͚̙͇̙̳̰͟͠oͭͦ̆̒̈́̑̓͗ͧ̍̓̚͏̫͓̝͕̩̳̺̫̹̥̫̫̲͜͟u̡̡̪̻̟̯̣̱̼͕̱̺͉̪͚̹̭̩̯̙ͪ͊̃̀͌̋ͥ͛̔̚͢͝ş̟̭̻̠̦͈̬͈̪͖͈͇̳̝͙̼̰̓͑͊̒̌̃͑ͪ̆ͥ͐͆͒̂͋͡͞ ̬̞͇̼̮͔̂ͯ̔́̎ͩ̊̄͗ͪͪ͐́͢͡P̢̨̧͖͉̘͔̠̺̖͎͎̒͛͐̅ͦ̊ͬ͌̑̊͒͐̉̓ͯ̀ͦ̈́ͅľͪͦ͂̋ͮͪ̐͏̶̨̛͚̮͈͎͇̰͕̭̲̻̬̝͚̖̫̻͖̮̠á̧͎͔͈͖̖̮͚̬͖͌ͥ̾ͥͦͯ̉ͬ̽̚͞͠y̸̪̯̖͔̤̙͖̣̣̹̟̘̫͋ͭ́̇̈̓̏ͯ̅̂͊ͮͣ͗̍̉̒ͣg̸̛̰͙̭̠͔͔̥͚̐͆̅ͪ͒ͨͮ͐͌̆͆͛̐͊̆̇́͡͞rͯͪ̽͊̏̿ͭ̏̀̎ͯ͂ͧ҉̶̸̶͔̤̘͇͙̹͕͈ͅo̧̨͍̰͔̗̲̰̳̞̝̥̬̹̻͙̙̖͂̃̇̿̐ͪ͂ͩ͑ͭ̀͢u̷̻̫̤̣̝͍͈̪͍͒ͥ̊̒n̨̨̼̯͕̩̫͎̩̭̲̬͙͚͙̮̫̠̝ͣͪ͂ͧͩ̑ͨͮ̃͛̈́̈́d̥̜̥̲̟̰̯̜̉̈ͤͫ̎ͮͪͯ̚͟͝͠

Jussive - expressing a command

Why are animals so much better than us?

Watching this got me cryin' half way through in the best of ways.

Aside from all of that. 

Today might be a slow day unless I get this call back for sign waving. 

*Not this again, lol...

Needing to remind myself of this, everyone else is a part of it of course... I don't know, just trying to make sense of all of it.

Actually took this weekend off from school without guilt, other people do that...right? 

I need to get over myself. 

1st thing I'm going to get with a paycheck is going to be a carrier so I can bring Pucky on these longer rides don't mind going alone, but I know how much fun he would have as well.

ppl ppl, plz.

ya boy is getting a bit worked up

xenial - of or concerning hospitality towards guests

Weird cool song I found yesterday.

Not much to say rn, slow morning. Will update later, going for a ride.

Relevant

decantate to chant or say repeatedly

Day one off to a great start, I know it'll be hard but I'm ready for it.

Also going on campus today gotta get past this geometry stuff.

Going to ride there today, add to the trip...might as well.

After that I think I'll head to the Desert and get some hill miles too...

Redlight has been having some quality uploads. 

Too many people I know I'm ready to see their next phases from afar...I wonder if people do the same for me...?

Will try to get a techno mix up today, if not it's in the works. 

Wirble - to whirl; to turn round and round

Getting highly emotional y'all

Wasted my time this morning, they needed clean pee, thought it was spit test, never go in underprepared ppl.

I really want to figure something out, I feel hella lost. I thought I was finding my way, but it feels like the exact opposite when I actually measure it all out.

Thinking about my old friends, wishing what they represented to me was still here, but I'm glad you're not...

*Or boys

**sigh

***help

All that being said

I'm hella thankful for everything, everyone and every experience I've had...just resenting the fact I'm not living in those types of experiences currently, but I'll get there...< 3

Sorry for getting mad...+sad.

What should I do???



This has been getting me thinking, spirit science in general, the fine layer of life and death, why is it the way it is, how we got to be this way, etc...questions with more questions...

No one reads this anywho...



Also, tomorrow is VDAY

Trance has been pretty good to me lately.

reintegrate - to make whole again to restore

Lol, I need to start doing music again... 

This blog is becoming more and more personal to me each day, really digging keeping up with myself.

However not much is going on yet today, just finished the morning ride with pucky, ate, got my coffee and about to start up on geometry again. 

Cheers for now. 

Boman - Well dressed criminal

Getting ready to go to the hot springs, bringing Pucky, just need to do some school, and eat then we goin'. 

This song has been on my mind, it seems to tread the fine line between being okay when you are not to produce a true final emotional state, and faking it hoping to fall into where you want to be.

Still trying to find the balance myself, I'd be lying to myself if I said I was stoked all the time, but faking it seems...dishonest to the road I'm trying to follow. But being in this state and only trying to get out for the sake of getting out feels futile...

Update!

Went on a hike to the hotsprings with both the dogs, I was going to bring the camera but it was super rainy, wish I could have. But be assured a rainbow was following us the whole time, it was quite breathtaking the whole day.

Now I'm home STILL trying to get this geometry, I think I'm going to actually talk to a tutor this week, lol...

This GIF is very much me lately. 

Random rant, fuck talk podcasts lately...even the most laid back figures all talking about politics...is nothing safe? I know nothing can be bipartisan when you have an open platform with guests and whatnot...maybe I should start my own?? 

YOICKS - Expression of surprise

Pretty chill day, went to check out a bike T found on OfferUp but it was 

Very much still on the improvement movement checking out more route, the adventure cycle sample came in today and I'm stoked to start putting down some miles...need to get a puller for the pup. 

Getting more done every day, school is coming easier as the days go on. Took a while to get back in the groove.

Feeling pretty good about the momentum I'm gaining...

Stretching helps the mornings, cleaning and cooking gets the fuel, helping everyone else lightens the stress, school gets me closer, applying for jobs and trying to get out more...All coming together.

Here is some man-bear-pig

Psilosphy - shallow limited knowledge

Belle asked if I sang the last line, "Feel like I blonggggg" and I said yes, yes I did

There's only so much I can say on this post. So Imma give you some meme.

raison d'être

The most important reason or purpose for existence. 

Hello today internet, 5 credit into school today, breezing through 'em. Wonder if I can graduate before the end of the month...that would be coolie, just need to learn this stupid geometry, the khan academy videos are helping though.

If you can't tell one paragraph into this post, this is a personal post day. 

Learning a new word a day, doing school, jogging or biking, blazing less, job around the corner, giving one thing a day. One day at a time c: Stretching in the morning has been awesome, it greatly increases my moods for sure... Starting feeling results in 3 days, the body is wonderful. 

Check out my mixcloud, been listening to a lot of fun mixes lately. 

Not really sure what to do about Belle and Trav...they make me wonder so much...<3 fam.="" font="" love="" the="">

Here is some random cool art

The Muse of Creativity oil on canvas 34x60”The Muse of Creativity oil on canvas 34x60” 

Rides, tunes, jobs, sorry, things. . .

Main thing I keep hearing is just trying smaller routes and see if you can handle it.

I can ride all day and enjoy it. c:

This is the 1st route I want to take, seems a bit dangerous, but we'll see how things go out here during the test runs. I'd want to do this either the start of spring or sometimes before...So, soon. 

Honestly, who knows, I like the idea of going anywhere. We shall see. 

Emotional whereabouts.

Looking back at my friendships I miss most of them but am glad them moved on, I probs never would have...

Thank you everyone who outgrew me. We both needed it. 

Sorry for the problems I caused, truly.

On a sunnier note: The 2nd interview at planet fitness went great, hopefully Mathew ends up calling me back soon-ish, I'll try to make it better here in the meantime. 

Putting off school isn't cool, mmkayyy?? 

Going to finish up math and history stuff today so help me!!!

"Talking about our relationship, what you know is always different from mine

time runs out, and I have a sick, what you saw is always different from mine

You gonna call it's not my name, you can feel or notice now, this time I do not belong to you."

Sorry.



Yes, I am going through it, thinking about relationships, man...I'm such an ass...



Wish someone loved me enough to build a house with me in any weather. Whenever....

Today is a cryin' day <3 br="" nbsp="">
< 3 < 3 3 < 3 3 3

Things! 1 !! It's called: Freefall!

Alright, so heres an album of my doggo from the other day, and boy-o-boy I really do love him.

& heres an update pic of me.

Really excited for the interview tomorrow, looking up random facts and things about PF.

The post would not be complete without this song. 

Looking up more biking stuff, getting addicted to this! Love putting on miles now, just gotta get used to putting on uphill miles : L



Another good jam to share. 

Thinking a bit more

Checking out some bikes, routes, communities, and otherwise good info to have reguarding a long distance bike trip. 1st step would be a state trip so I might try to recruit some people(s?) for the 1st one...Or should I look for people AFTER the 1st test trip...the mind races!

There are so many people in so many walks of life putting some miles behind them on bikes I can't lose!

Another good source - http://robgreenfield.tv/waste/