Joseph J. Krause / updates / media / links / blurps / magic & more

autonomy /ô-tŏn′ə-mē/ - The condition or quality of being autonomous; independence

 
 Hello World! This is Joseph Jordan Krause, and I'm here to show you my mad skills!
That way you'll have a reference to what I'm capable of & what kind of services I provide.
Starting with the most central skill sets.
The adored & loathed software suites known as the heart of design software. 
 
 
Adobe! Photoshop, Illustrator & premiere. 
 
Streaming services utilizing streamlabs & OBS of course!
 
Front end coding - Dreamweaver!
Learning the building blocks of C+, Python, CSS3, HTML old & new! 
 &&&&&&&&&&&&& my personal favorite....
Music digital audio workstations, Audacity, Reaper, Logic, Ableton, and most of Native Instruments suites
 
eclectic /ĭ-klĕk′tĭk/

adjective

  1. Selecting or employing individual elements from a variety of sources, systems, or styles.
    "an eclectic taste in music; an eclectic approach to managing the economy."
  2. Made up of or combining elements from a variety of sources.
  3. Selecting; choosing (what is true or excellent in doctrines, opinions, etc.) from various sources or systems.
Big pond
Human Xanax
Pucky and th
e head bonkers
Usamade
Best of show
Dü$k till daŵñ
Sold out! !
Serendipity.
I’ll tell you what it means to be, there is no pity, as far as I can see, your smile makes me say oh gee, Let’s drive off this cliff together into a pool of passion and lust. Will we give in? Is it a sin? Smile, one more time to make everything OK.We can watch movies together, or maybe make one ourselves.
Are you ready, did you make the call?
what i cant seem to get over as i reflect...
 
is how normal all this feels...am i

Catastrophizing

so many people have come and gone, and im glad it has been that way
no real prospects of anything tangable in my life has made itself present, regretfully.
and im having the same back and forth, give no take, aimless type of wondering about in not only my day to day life, but also my long term planing & things of that nature...
i just want to fucking scream and cry as though no one were there, so i could let out how i REALLY feel.endless searching, endless regret & pondering the point of it all...
jobs, friends, places to go, ways to feel, connections to make, even share hobbys with someone else seems to be a huge block in my life, not just the final destination, but what leads to it as well...
its SO fucking taxing i really dont know why the hell im even trying anymore...
every connection ive made with both male and females, have all been painfully hallow.

there are a handful of things that ive either taken part in, started doing or changed how i was that has been sources of drive & joy. 
lyrics about connection, fun, younger minds & more im sure. here is just one that i liked more than most. 
 

Do you ditto?
Hard to read, little a riddle.
Just a game, in
the middle.
Try once again-try a pen
Seems so foreign-stuck here adoring
Give it time, please don’t utter.
You’re so fine, talk or mutter
No goodbye say this,
tears might even fall
Trying again so worthwhile,
my own private domicile *bitch****

I’m so short tempered almost exclusively to my own
demise.

Turning around all I see are your tears soaked eyes.

Wish I could take it back, stuck like a knot forever lost in tides

No excuses, no expectation. And I’ll do my best to get rid of all the lies.
X
here we go again internet
im fucking up, more than usual
alone most of the time
feeling shit about life pretty much every day and it is showing no signs of relief
ruining relationships that didn't exist to begin with 
its cringey really, how much i dont realize things going on...


 
laugh it off, if we rest now - we might succumb
anticlimactic, thats not a stretch, overdone - Diploid vs. Haploid  
chew on your thoughts like bubble gum - retoid-+ dumbboy
im trying not to think with my head, he always get me in trouble
maybe t
hats what i want to be, lets get real,
look at your reflection - in the mud puddle
When you look at life, through a shitty lense, you can't help but become a bit jaded. 
 love surprises? this pedal is for you plugging in any familiar tunes may result in roaring layers of effects
*record scratch
& who does not 
quick, what is the first word you thought?

Looking at the line 6 dl4 mark 2 is not under, nor over whelming...it is just the right amount whelming,
Looping is the heart of this unit - vast maws drawn together with little bits and pieces...
the depth and complexity of this build is not to be understated by it's sleek design...washing up tones through a seamless tension and release.
ive never written a script before
nor do i write, journal, log, enter, input, download or otherwise express myself through words other than 

I've not yet quit cigarettes, and im not holdi
ng my breath. Theres a sweet smell in the air one i cant put a name to. fimilar yet novel to me, like a thrift shop t-shirt, "homeless" and yet...somehow, okay with it. Getting an outfit together just like i should do with my life but im not complainin' look up and down you know im lame and, feet are sore and can't stand, lean up against me like an old kickstand proped up, made public like your lies. I'm not holding my breathe
when you say i love you, i can tell your hearts not in it.
cold, still desert air
hits my pale sagging skin
nothing going for me and i dont c
are anymore

 not really understanding people at all lately

when i think i am

im always reminded 

how far off i am

no one likes a broken bone

find out at the same time

 not because of you

i even believe myself

guess what

there is no one else

just fucking call me ugly, stupid, worthless, pathetic, desperate...

something 

i guess its time to get used to this 

ive given life a long time to settle

and all i get is chaos and pity

                   no friend      no place 

                    no thing 

nothing 

i am nothing

without anything

i am in this world and i wish i was not

sick of it 

dead inside

are you going to start living joseph 

 or 

live like this for the rest of my time

 and why not, heres another one for you to chew on . 
I’ve spent my last dollar, on some much needed oil
Looking around still unc
lean tin foil
The battlefields differ in ammo & shrapnel
Yelling and fighting until the last insult.
I’ve wasted and squandered my best years, alone. Without friends, or meaning, or even a phone.
 memories shaped with only
Flower shops, motorcycles, & more
Finding mysel
f left out on the floor

Care bares, platinum, wide open desert be weary
Never showered “on my own”
Never took a group of friends exploring, my way.
Never went above my daddy’s pay grade
Never got well enough where well was okay.
Never challenged beliefs or found my own


pathetic
 
 
heres whats going to happen folks.
tonight, im leaving ronnies. and im just going to start heading south. i want to see what the south is all about....